My New Life

Once upon a time, I worked in the heart of Salt Lake City in a beautiful high-rise building. My company was one of the most successful in the New York Stock Exchange. I was assisting the management of millions of dollars during one of the most volital times in the market. I knew what I was doing and I was good at my job.

I would go to work every day and my work was appreciated and my skills were sought after. I received a pay check every couple of weeks to help me feel even better about what I did. On February 23, 2009, that life vanished overnight...

I grew two milk cartons on my chest and I am milked every couple of hours; Mitch calls me Bessie. This does mean, however, that my skills are still sought after! It is rare that I leave my house because by the time I get Benjamin ready to go, it's time to nurse again and I have to start all over. I don't have a clue what I'm doing minute to minute. But Matlock is great!

I've become a human diaper. Nobody told me how much urine a newborn can produce! My little angel can fill up a diaper in record time and manage to soak whatever outfit I'm wearing at the same time. I have discovered green rocket poop! Last night, I was putting Benjamin to bed. I took off his onsie and was chaning his diaper. I've become pretty good at dodging the "water fountains" that Benjamin likes to make when his diaper is being changed, so I was being very cautious about removing the diaper too soon. I started to take it off and heard a disturbing rumble. I quickly put the diaper back on and held it there for a moment until the rumbinlings were done. I decided it was safe to take a peek. The instant I pulled down that diaper an exposion went off! I screamed and before I could replace the diaper, I was covered in green rocket poop! When I say covered, I'm not exaggerating. It was on my shoulder, face, arms, chest, stomach and even my pants. I looked down at my sweet little boy and he had this huge grin on his face as though he had planned it all along. My husband was no help - he was having a hard time catching his breath because he was laughing so hard. Here is what was left after I rinsed my body off and wiped off what I could from my shirt.

But how could I be mad at this face? Even though my laundry has more than trippled, I haven't had a full night of sleep for months, I can't walk to the mailbox without peeing my pants, and my emotions are a little unpredictable I couldn't think of a better life than the one I have with Benjamin.

It's definately been a huge transition going from a fast-paced work environment to baby talk and changing diapers all day - including my own :), but every time I look at my little son, I'm convinced I've picked the better life. Besides, the volitile market conditions have nothing on the volitile green rocket poops that I have discovered!