Seven years ago on July 21st, my husband and I entered the Salt Lake Temple and made promises to each other and to our Heavenly Father as we entered into the sacred covenant of marriage. In the temple, when we commit to those covenants, we say "yes" rather than "I do". I was so anxious and excited to marry Mitch that I said 'yes' a little too early in the ceremony and when the right time came, I made sure to say it twice. My father-in-law loved that. He often teased me about it.
For some reason I have been reflecting a great deal on that day. I can remember thinking that I could never feel any more complete. I could never feel any more joy than I felt that day.
For some reason I have been reflecting a great deal on that day. I can remember thinking that I could never feel any more complete. I could never feel any more joy than I felt that day.
I realize now that I didn't know what real joy was yet.
Before our wedding, Mitch's dad gave us a small Precious Moments canoe statue called "Many Moons". He had written a parable that he had developed to illustrate some of the challenges of marriage. I'll share it at the end of this, but what I love about the analogy is this: You need to rely on one another and really work together to stay on course and the most successful position to make it through rough waters is on your knees.
Before our wedding, Mitch's dad gave us a small Precious Moments canoe statue called "Many Moons". He had written a parable that he had developed to illustrate some of the challenges of marriage. I'll share it at the end of this, but what I love about the analogy is this: You need to rely on one another and really work together to stay on course and the most successful position to make it through rough waters is on your knees.
Tonight I pulled out some mementos from our wedding and on the back of our wedding announcement we had this scripture,
"Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" 1 Cor 11:11
"Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" 1 Cor 11:11
I am not complete without this man and I am just as anxious today for our future as I was seven years ago when I said yes, three times.
The Parable of the Canoe
If you have ever ridden in a canoe, you know what a great feeling it is. On smooth water, you just seem to glide endlessly across the water with so very little effort. What a fun activity.
Now the canoes are different than the birch-bark canoes of old. In those days, the canoeist would kneel in the bottom of this canoe. Today, many of the modern canoes have seats where you can more comfortably sit.
However, there is a reason for kneeling. If you learn to properly canoe, you are told that you can sit on the seat when it is calm, but if you get into rough water, you need to kneel down. this lowers your center of gravity and makes the canoe more stable. It obviously becomes clear as well that while on your knees looking for stability, you can also ask for some help from above.
Now you are about to embark on a tremendous canoe trip as you marry. You are facing a great big lake. You can't see the other side but you are told that it is there. Up until now, you have been riding in your parents' canoe. You have been leaning back, relaxed, eating snacks and not helping much with any paddling. Oh, how things are about to change.
You see this lake is the lake of life and you are going to be issued a brand new canoe for this trip that the two of you are about to embark upon. It is a special canoe... it is expandable. It will stretch with the arrival of each of your eight (or more) children.
I realize that the two of you have not canoed together before so there are some interesting things that you will have to learn about using your paddles. Do you know what happens if you both paddle on the same side of the canoe? Yup, you will go in circles (until you become more experienced when you can use a special canoe stroke to go straight). Most beginners will paddle on one on one side and one on the other side of the canoe. Doing this can keep the canoe going relatively straight.
You will bring some special items with you that you have prepared in preparation for this trip. Because you can't see your destination on the far shore, you'll bring along instructions on what you need to do to get there. You see, you'll find these instructions in the scriptures. In addition you will each bring with you a personal compass (maybe like your own personal Liahona) that can give you special personal guidance. Yes, this is your patriarchal blessing.
Now as you arrive at the harbor to begin this trip together, you'll find lots of family and friends there to watch you start out. They are there to cheer you on and laugh with you as you weave all over the place trying to go straight.
Finally you are on your way. One by one the other families in their individual canoes will leave your side as they continue on their individual courses of travel. Soon they are out of sight over the horizon and you two are all alone. But you don't mind. It is so beautiful on the lake. The water is smooth as glass, the canoe seems to glide forever with each stroke. The sky is a beautiful blue and it is so much fun to be sharing this with your chosen loved one. You have thought about this day for years and years and finally all of your hopes, dreams and plans are coming to fruition.
All conditions are absolutely perfect as you continue gliding along. Things can't be any better. then you look up and notice that a small cloud has covered the sun. As you watch it, it grows bigger and darker. A gentle breeze grows stronger and waves start to grow larger.
You remember the canoe instructions that told you to face your canoe on the wind to avoid capsizing it and turn the canoe into the oncoming waves. About this time the first drops of rain announce the arrival of your first storm. The wind and rain increase and you kneel in the bottom of the canoe trying to keep upright. Suddenly, you realize that the ease of the trip has gone. Your knees hurt, your arms ache from paddling, the wind and rain are making you cold and your back muscles are beginning to cramp. Your hair is wet and water is streaming down your face. Then you remember how nice it was back in mom and dad's canoe when you could just sit back and relax.
Okay. let's change locations on the lake. Just over the horizon, your parents are paddling along. By just raising up a little, they can see you. they look over from time to time and finally they look over, see you in your little storm and mom says to dad, "It's time we visit them, she just hit him with a paddle!" They change course and within moments pull up alongside.
the father of the bride makes some kind of comment like, Nice hairdo, daughter!" as water continues to drip off her nose. His wife says something like, "be quiet, dear. I'll hold on to their canoe. You keep paddling". Then to you, they say, "You two relax. Put your paddles down and hold on to our canoe for a moment. We'll paddle while you two rest for a minute".
After a short rest, they will tell you how well you are doing, giving you hope. they likely will even share some of their challenges with you and you will learn that you can find strength to continue because you have resources around you to help. In a short time, they will tell you, "so long" and will leave to continue their course once again.
You will pick up your paddles, express your continued commitment and love to each other and start again paddling. You might even find that the sun has come out and the water has calmed.
Now you need to be aware that the time might come that for a while, your partner will not be able to paddle and yoiu might have to say, "Dear, put your paddle down and rest. I'll paddle. We won't go as fast, but I'll keep us on course. You do what you need to do to get better." Maybe for a while it will not be a 50-50 relationship. It might be a 5-95 or a 95-5 relationship for a while as you work together to accomplish your eternal goals.
Happy canoeing! I hope to see you from time to time out on the lake of life. May most of your days be smooth sailing. May your storms be minor and short. May your canoe be full of pleasant memories and a wonderful family.
-Irvine Rencher
